What Marriage is Like

This is the best way that I can describe marriage.

I married an NBA player.  Yes, me short petite, barely 5’1 me married a tall professional athlete.   When we first got married, I was really excited. I met a handsome guy, sporty too. Did I mention he was famous? It was glamorous at the wedding. I married an NBA player! I squealed in my mind.  But then he moved in.

You see, my home was made for a normal sized person.  But when Mr. NBA moved in, it was kind of evident that he wasn’t fit for my home.  My bed and sofa were a little short for him. The ceiling was really low.  So, for the first few months he had a really hard time getting around. He was nice about it and really tried to make do with the situation.  But I got irritated.  Part of me told myself that he would have to get used to it.  This is my home. I’m not changing anything about it, I thought.

But then, I quickly realized that no matter how nice he was about it, our marriage wouldn’t last if he was hitting the top of the doorway every morning or if he had to squeeze into my normal sized bed every night.  It pained me to say goodbye to my comfortable home and the really cute furniture I owned.  But I did renovations, which cost a lot of money, not to mention a long long time. Isn’t that how remodeling typically goes?  In the end, I had to make grave changes to make things work.

The NBA player I married nine years ago has a great shot, but in reality, he’s not in the NBA. He’s not professional. When Kevin and I first got married, people could have assumed that our marriage would easily succeed. He was nice, so was I. And we both loved each other, loved God and we enjoyed eating midnight snacks and hanging out in the outdoors together.

But then we started living life and things didn’t always go so well.  He liked to pour all his clean laundry out on the bed so that it wouldn’t wrinkle. I needed it folded immediately out of the dryer and placed in the drawers.  I liked the way I did things. The way I lived my life.  I noticed that he was hitting the top of a lot of the doorways in our house.

Today marks our ninth wedding anniversary.  What I’ve found is that the time doesn’t just float by for marriage to work out.  By the grace of God and the prayers of many friends and family, we are loving each other still.  Praise God.  We have very shaky days and good ones too.  But I am learning that marriage takes gutting of self, long and expensive renovations, accommodation, new furniture, date nights, good marriage counseling, hugs, humility, loads of forgiveness and prayer.   I am thankful for Jesus for being the mediator and making all things new.   For his steadfast love that endures forever.

Kevin, you are totally special to me.  Here’s to many more.  Let’s grow old in our remodeled home together.